Tassles
by PixieDust291
Summary: Crackfic. Alfred gives Arthur possibly the best present there could ever be.


**Tassels**

By Pixiedust291

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Arthur sighed inwardly but tried to keep up the smile on his face for the rest of his friends sitting around him. Tonight was his Birthday. He usually preferred if his birthday just came and passed without much notice, but due to Alfred actually remembering it this year of course the highly excitable younger man had rallied everyone into frenzy. Yet still, for the most part he was enjoying the festivities even though it was getting rather late. He silently glanced to Kiku who gave him a sympathetic look. Both of them knew that it was already passed their usual time to go to bed. Arthur turned his attention back to Antonio and Matthew who were trying their best to play Dance Dance Revolution. Arthur was glad Alfred had had the party at his house that way at least he didn't have to worry about cleaning up.

Arthur watched the frantic arrows practically shoot across the TV screen as the techno music blared. He now understood how it is that Alfred could look so good even though his diet was terrible. Matthew looked as if he were about to pass out. He then looked to the table in front of him. All the gifts from his friends from all different parts of the globe lay before him, except one. Arthur turned to look at Alfred who was eating a piece of cake on the couch just to the right of the TV. He was grinning and laughing.

Why had he not received a gift from his own lover? He frowned. He had not received a gift from Francis either, but then again he was actually happy about that. The last thing he needed was his arch rival giving him rose scented lube or something akin to it. He had enough problems with Alfred's affinity for using chocolate flavored lube and fruity condoms. He blushed at the memory and grabbed one of the couch pillows to bury his face in.

"Alright!" Alfred cheered as the song ended. Antonio was gasping and Matthew was already on the floor panting.

"Whoever invented this game must have been insane." Came Ludwig's gruff voice.

"But Ludwig this is from Kiku's country." Feliciano replied as he repositioned himself on the German's lap.

"Seriously?!"

Kiku nodded, "Yes, I'm sorry it is not to your liking."

At his words Ludwig looked a little embarrassed "No, I just thought-"

"Are you picking on Kiku again?!" Yao called from the kitchen.

"No!" Feliciano called out.

Alfred got to his feet "Alright dudes, everyone sit down." He turned and grinned at Arthur "To finish off the evening I have a special treat for you." He winked "I hope you like it because I worked really hard and tried to think of something you would enjoy. And after some thought I finally realized what I could get you. I also asked for Francis' help."

Arthur's brows furrowed in confusion. _Francis' help?_ What the bloody hell was he talking about? Alfred knew how much he hated the other man. Alfred clapped his hands as Yao pushed in a rather large plastic looking cake into the middle of the living room. Arthur's gaze immediately went to Alfred and gave him a look that read _'No you bloody didn't!'_

Alfred winked again and walked over whispering "Trust me." as he passed. He then left into another room and when he came back he was holding his fat cream colored rag doll cat. He placed the cat on Arthur's lap and then gave a hand gesture to Yao. It was strange for Yao to willingly cooperate with Alfred on anything. So, the fact that he was, made Arthur think possibly hell had frozen over. Yao nodded and pushed the play button on the CD player that was next to the couch. A raunchy sounding and rather disturbing song started to blare from the speakers. Arthur was only glad that it was in French and that he didn't speak that absurd language. He glanced over at Matthew, whose face was darker than a sun kissed cherry.

There was a slight thump from inside the cake. Arthur's gaze was brought back to the suspicious prop just as Francis burst out the top of it. His long blonde hair was tied back in a ponytail and he had a rose in his mouth. He was utterly naked except for the pasted on tassels on his nipples and the thing he wore with the pattern of the French flag.

Arthur wanted nothing at that moment but to gouge out his own eyes. With a wide gaze and an open mouth he could only stare and watch in horror and shock. Francis grinned and winked, naturally, and then after stepping out of the cake he struck a pose, causing the tassels to twirl.

Why? Dear god in heaven why would this be Alfred's gift to him it was- he stopped as he felt a shift of weight on his lap. He looked down to see Alfred's cat staring at Francis with an intent and yearning expression. He softly mewed and kneaded his claws into Arthur's jeans. Round and round those tassels went. Arthur looked back to Francis and then to the cat... an evil grin played on his face. He released his hold on the cat and in an instant Alfred's cat leaped from his lap, sailed across the room, and attacked Francis' chest. He yowled and he bit and clawed at the nipple tassels. Francis' scream was loud enough to shake the house as he tumbled backward and over the coffee table. He swore violently. Matthew jumped up and tried to come to his aid but the man's thrashing nearly naked body only caused him to blush more.

"My nipples!"

Arthur erupted in laughter, as did most of the other people in the room. He gasped, and couldn't catch his breath he was laughing so hard. Tears came to his eyes. He felt a gentle kiss being pressed to his cheek and turned to look at Alfred's face.

"Did you like your present?" he asked as his cat yowled again.

"I absolutely love it." He grinned and kissed him, not caring who saw.


End file.
